My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
