I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
