Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My ass is underappreciated
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize