wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
