what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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