her vagine was all disorganized.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
