Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
should my penis look like a turkey
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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