I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
