dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Randomize