Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just had sex on a roof
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
