This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
