The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
