whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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