So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
