My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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