The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
