So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
