does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
