In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
