is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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