Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
