I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just found puke in my bra..
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
