Welp...herpes.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
