I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
