I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
