Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize