I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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