I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
