Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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