Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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