What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize