Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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