Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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