I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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