I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize