i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
