I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize