sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize