Whoa Z and x make the same sound
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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