Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
