6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
