So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
