is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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