I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize