I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
its liver damage thursday
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
