Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
