My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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