does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize