how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize