well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Im part way to drunk.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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