Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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