Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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