Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
