just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
