God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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