i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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