She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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