I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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