Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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