He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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