is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I touched a dick in church today
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
