I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
