There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
