what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
