I'd wear matching sweaters with you
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
