I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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