And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize