whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We don't watch enough power rangers
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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