do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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